‘Glue’ was a sticky prompt to work with (Seriously?- Ed) but this story came to me from the recesses of my memory. I’m sure I read it somewhere…
Finding a seat on the 07h39, Bob cast a look around the carriage. He was unaccustomed to anything other than strap hanging the entire journey into Waterloo, and so rarely brought his own reading matter. Today was no exception.
He surreptitiously glanced at his neighbour’s newspaper. The neighbour quickly executed an efficient refold of the broadsheet, with the well-practised skills of the seasoned commuter, who keeps his elbows tucked tightly in and his reading surface as compact as possible. The neighbour also repositioned his shoulder, the better to exclude Bob from rubber necking his £2.50 Telegraph.
Just then, both men caught sight of the same article. Bob sniggered first. The man laughed out loud and in an uncustomary gesture, expanded the page and held it out between himself and Bob.
Soon, tears of mirth were rolling down their cheeks.
A 39 year-old man from Halifax had reached into his bathroom cupboard during the night seeking relief from his painful haemorrhoids. What he mistakenly picked up and duly administered was however, a tube of superglue, the report read.
